Yes Frances Scott Lives a Charmed Life

The power’s out in half the house (been out for 4 days), the AC is now out too, there’s STILL dried dog yack in my car’s driver’s side floorboard from the stray I picked up MONDAY, I can’t find a house we can afford with a yard, and oh yea, that stray I picked up last week? She isn’t a ‘teenaged’ puppy as I first thought; she shouldn’t have even been weaned yet. She is… a Saint Bernard, yes, of the Beethoven likes… of the ‘Giant’ class of super-breeds.

And we are living in a condo; a 1200 square-foot condo. 5 people and a ‘Giant Breed,’ un-house-broken puppy, and half of our 3800 square feet of stuff. Two of our three kids are pretty-much house-broken. And I would take a day off to try to do, oh, something crazy like buying a gate to keep Blizzard (yes, as in “Dairy Queen”) from throwing up on our carpet again or chewing up again our Apple Wireless Mouse, but I’ve been assigned to replace Oprah for now- at least in little old Raleigh, NC, and we need so much “practice” for this new newscast, a day off can only happen if someone gets a leg chopped off, which, conveniently, we happened to have on the schedule! My widowed mother in a town 3 hours away had (prior to me, knowing anything about a new Oprah-replacing newscast, much less, me, having anything to do with it) booked the first of two knee-replacement surgeries six days after the new show starts… and I am her only offspring (I prefer ‘spawn.’ It just sound more sinister).

This must be why people start drinking… or keep drinking. Actually i drank when i was a teenager, when i had no problems. Too bad I can’t drink anymore. I actually want to drink and TALK about tequila a lot because talking about it makes me happy, but actually alcohol, ALL ALCOHOL, even a sip… can make me throw up, develop a raging headache or both. I’d take a “Calgon, take me away!” bath, but the tub in this condo is so small, my booty & boobies cannot all be submerged simultaneously. Kinda takes the shine off the whole process, you know?

Frances Scott leads a charmed life…